“But those who suffer, he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction.” –Job 36:15
When I was a young girl, I went to church every Sunday, I went to vacation Bible school, and I took trips with the youth group. As I got older and met the man I was going to marry, I drifted away. Now, years later, that man and I are no longer together. When he walked away, I became broken. I was pregnant and had four other kids to concern myself with. But, the depression that I sunk into was so severe that just the act of breathing hurt, let alone getting out of bed. I just went through the motions and tried to get through the day. At the end of the day, I would put the kids to bed and cry myself to sleep. I think I actually cried every day for a straight year, at least. I was in my despair.
The Turning Point
The turning point for me was one night when I was crying myself to sleep and fell to the floor and prayed. That was something I had not done in a very long time. In that moment, in my pain, in my suffering, in my despair, God met me there.
The next day, I went looking for a church and started going, all the kids in tow. Every place we moved to, I would look for a new church and just keep going. The brokenness was not gone. The pain and depression were still there. The difference was, I knew I was no longer alone. Or, should I say, I realized I was never alone. God was always there waiting for me to look to him so he could carry me out of my darkness.
My Church Home
I finally found a church in Carlsbad, California. When we lived there, I went to that church every Sunday, most Thursdays, and some Tuesdays. Any moment I could be near the church community, absorbing his good word, I took advantage of those opportunities. For three years. God sent me to those people, to that church, because he knew I would grow there.
Conclusion
If you are in a moment of despair, look to God. I promise you that you are not alone in your suffering. He is there with you. If you need a friend, or need to surround yourself with God loving people, reach out. He met me in my despair and the church helped me in my pain.